I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
