She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
