I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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