Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
