lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think my tv is drunk
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
