u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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