Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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