tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
