So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
