She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
