I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize