Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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