good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
