the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
