Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
