Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
soo... how was my night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
