these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Randomize
