first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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