he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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