i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
