Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
