yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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