I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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