idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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