@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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