I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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