remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
