i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my shit smells like andre
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
