that's an acceptable place to lick
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
