i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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