Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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