its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last night I used snow as a chaser
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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