I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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