The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
