whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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