Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
