Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
