I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
