That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
