dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
