Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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