census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
