all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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