I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
