Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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