Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
