last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
