quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
