My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
