My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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