I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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