After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize