Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
