We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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