why didn't you poke me back
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize