you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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