you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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