He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
