Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
