That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
