Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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