giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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