ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
