Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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